Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Non-Jews are for practice
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
