sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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