you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
