Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize