and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
