im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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