Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
