drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
