I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Can you bring me the toilet please
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
