She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
