This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
