went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
