Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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