hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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