i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
