She is in my trunk
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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