No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
