I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
