Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
