For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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