Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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