if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
