You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
