if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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