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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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