Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize