I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
