and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
