He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
this just has baby written all over it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
