I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
