A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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