I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
