He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
