Pappa wants mamma naked
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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