the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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