Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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