i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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