god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
