the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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