Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
