omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
