The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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