Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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