Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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