It's Friday. Sex?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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