wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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