Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
