I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
