I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
