in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
