If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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