I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
