the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
