So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
