I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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