belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
