we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
