I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
