it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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