Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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