There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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