im drinking this country out of the recession.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
