I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
