I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
