when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
